drG

Positively Lost Me

Well, I was wrong. Not that that’s an unusual thing.

I’ve been telling myself all this time that I’m totally happy, and that’s what’s killing my art.

Ah, not so.

I am not this domesticated Sally that I appear to be.

Sure, I’m happy. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want anything but what I have right now.

But! And that’s a big but. A but so big, that Sir-Mix-A-Lot would appreciate it.

I NEED TO EAT RAW MEAT.

I need that hunger, that danger, that fucking…nuclear winter.

The nuclear winter that made me admired, desired, and hated many times over.

That is who I am. I am not this person wearing this huge wedding dress and posing like a sap.

Don’t get me wrong. I like being married.

But recently I rediscovered my beating heart, my toxic blood, my rushing heat. And I liked it. Even though it feels strange, I like it. It is the essence of me.

Hello, world. I’m back, bitches.